In a recent article in American Thinker, my good friend Charlotte Cushman writes,
Choosing popularity instead of reality leads to the mob mentality we are seeing today. The educational approach that is used in schools is highly influential in the choice the child makes.
Much has been written to explain how “progressive education” indoctrinates children to conform to the group instead of teaching children to know reality. See for example, “A Teacher’s Perspective on What’s Wrong with Our Schools,” by Peter McAllister, another good friend. Cushman explains that this indoctrination in conformity extends beyond curriculum and method of instruction—it extends to the prevailing methods of discipline.
The issue of discipline is often framed as an alternative of strictness or leniency. But mere strictness inculcates mere blind obedience (which can someday turn into blind rebellion). And mere leniency inculcates blind indulgence in emotion.
As Cushman explains, the popular contemporary solution to this dilemma is to subject the child to peer pressure—pressure to conform to the behavior approved of by the group of other children. Of course, this solution achieves the worst of both worlds—teaching the child blind obedience to the authority of blind emotion.
In her book, Effective Discipline the Montessori Way, Cushman offers a better solution, originated by Maria Montessori and honed by Cushman over decades of teaching and parenting. This solution, which applies in the home as well as the classroom, is based on the fact that every child possesses the faculties of reason and free will, the faculties that will guide adulthood. In developing these faculties, the child develops “independence, not obedience.” The child “develops self-discipline.” (P. 97).
Much ingenuity of this solution lies in the specific techniques and their overall integration. What follows is a sampling.
Cushman writes (p. 27),
Consequences are the most effective type of discipline because children learn first-hand. Since young children cannot think long-range and do not fully understand cause and effect, consequences teach them that their actions have results, and they learn to think ahead. There are two types of consequences: natural and logical.
The book then describes these two types, with specific examples. For this elaboration, read the book.
Later in the book, Cushman offers this advice: “Do not force children to apologize.” (P. 73.) She writes (pp. 73–74),
Frequently, adults insist the apology be delivered immediately following a misbehavior. For example, the teacher sees Katy hit Jimmy, and wants to step in and insist that Katy apologize. At that moment, Katy is still very angry, which is why she hit in the first place. Forcing her to say she is sorry will teach her two things. One, it will teach her to repress her anger, because it gives the message that anger is not okay. Two, it will teach her to lie since, at that moment, she is not sorry for what she did.
Cushman explains that the adult should have the child address the matter when the child is no longer angry, so that the child can address the matter with thought and then feel remorse. Only then will an apology be valid.
Near the end of the book, Cushman offers this encouragement to adults:
Adults do not need to be afraid of implementing honest, straightforward discipline. It does not damage children; it helps them make better choices. Children recognize that the adult is trying to help them, and they like it … and appreciate it.
With the help of the specifics presented in this book, adults can have the knowledge, along with the intention, to implement “honest, straightforward discipline.”
Happy 51st Anniversary of the First Moon Landing!